More Family Business

My goodness it's been a long time since I've written on this blog. I guess I reserve my entries for especially difficult times in the religion-sphere.

My paternal grandfather died earlier this year. At the funeral my dad was speaking with a Chabad Rabbi who knew him pretty well. The rabbi told him the following story:

"Your father once said to me that Orhodoxy stole his son from him. And he asked, with some annoyance, why every Friday when he talked to you, you always said 'Good Shabbos.' It annoyed him in some way like you were hammering home your observance. I said to him, "Do you realize how many men in your temple wish their sons called them every Friday? Orthodoxy didn't take him from you. It brought him closer!"

Well, now it's Pesach and I'm visiting my parents. Tomorrow we're getting together with my dad's son, my half-brother. Things are a little strained between them from old family history, but I know that the observance that my parents and I share is going to add to the problems, as well as be blamed for the other problems. My brother suggested a picnic, but we're dependent on Pesach food and my mom was clear ahead of time she didn't want to prepare anything, but I can't just do it without conferring because it's not my kitchen. As I was navigating all this I felt the temperature rising and brought back all the tension that always comes with making things work when observance is on the line, and with both sides feeling judged as well as inconvenienced.

So frustrating. I think all family's have problems. This one just plays out through religious details at tme. I would write more clearly, but my daughter is calling me right now.